Helping My School Out

Earlier this week, it came to light that E. Gordon Gee, the President of Ohio State University, had said some things about the University of Notre Dame and Catholics in jest at an athletics meeting. Some took the comments as offensive,  He apologized for his comments and Notre Dame formally forgave him. Most of the Catholic students on campus and on Facebook have agreed that they didn’t find the comments offensive. Heck, I’ve heard more offensive comments from comedians on TV (Jeff Dunham and his dummies come to mind).

But today, President Gee announced his retirement, effective July 1st, because of the controversy his remarks led to.

Naturally, I and several other OSU students are devastated. President Gee was a positive influence on the campus. He brought a smile to us with his bowties and jovial nature and kind and quiet manner of speech. To many students, meeting President Gee was a milestone in their OSU careers. I even met one student who said she came to Ohio State just to meet President Gee, right before she took a photo with him at the student union. To us, losing him because of this little incident will be a big blow to the morale of the university and to the students.

This is me with President Gee back in my freshman year. He was an inspiration. I hope he stays that way.

Which is why, after discussion with some other students and a lot of thought about the subject, I started a Change.org petition to get the Board of Trustees at Ohio State to let President Gee keep his position and continue to serve Ohio State as he’s done for several years. So far, 125 people have signed, and I’m hoping that I can get that number up to 10,000, or about one-sixth of the Ohio State student population.

I’d appreciate it if you signed the petition, and possibly shared it on your own blog or Facebook. This means a lot to me, and I’m trying to make a difference as best as I can. If I can, I want to see this petition reach the goal count. If you can help me, that’d be great.

If you decide not too though, that’s okay. I respect your opinion and your choice and I hope we can find other things to agree on. But if you feel like it, please do sign the petition. You don’t even have to donate money to do it! And the best part is, you’ll be making a difference for about sixty-thousand students.

That, my friends, will be the best part.

Some Thoughts On Children Lost and Children Harmed

This week alone, several stories have surfaced in the news of American children being killed by guns in their homes. Two children, shot accidentally by their siblings. One child was killed by his uncle’s handgun hidden in a backpack. Another was shot in the crib while their 14-year-old brother was using his .22 rifle, which was given to him as a birthday gift.

The two cases listed above didn’t end in saved children. Instead, the children died en route to the hospital. The parents and siblings of these dead children, the rest of their families, the communities, and everyone who hears of these cases can only wonder, “Why?”

There are a million reasons why: negligence, misfires, simple intentions to see a gun, the belief that guns actually don’t kill, the crazy belief that giving a gun to a teenager is a good idea. However, debating the reasons why these tragedies happened won’t do any good. These children are wounded or dead, and it happened by weapons kept in the home.

Now I won’t try to argue the Second Amendment or the dangers of automatic rifles and machine guns this time. I believe that if it’s for legitimate reasons, people should have access to firearms like handguns or hunting rifles. However, when children are involved it’s a whole other issue. Children have a habit of getting into places they shouldn’t, and they think things that are dangerous are fun or sometimes cute. And even if a child seems mature, no child should be given something that’s main function is killing, be it animals or people.

The worst part of this is that these tragedies could’ve been totally preventable. The parents and adults could’ve locked up their guns better, or at least made attempts to lock them up. They could’ve waited until their kids were teenagers to teach them to use guns, and then only when they were 18 would they have been allowed their own guns. Or better yet, they could’ve never have bought the guns in the first place! After all, there’s a significantly higher chance that if you bring a gun into your home, it’ll do more damage to your family than any would-be intruder.

So the NRA may be having a party in Houston and saying that guns are here to stay, that taking away guns will lead to a dictatorship, and that the only thing protecting our children are guns. But they can’t shut out the facts, no matter how many senators they buy off. Guns are dangerous tools, and until we have some common-sense legislation, all this violence and death will only stay the same, or possibly get worse.

France and Uruguay and England Are Doing It. Why Not The United States?

Today I’m checking the news on AOL and I see that France’s Senate has passed a bill allowing LGBT couples to get legally married. The bill was passed despite huge protests and opposition from conservatives and Roman Catholics wanting to preserve their definition of marriage. Yesterday I read how Uruguay had done the same thing, passing a bill allowing members of the LGBT community to marry and adopt. And quite recently, England voted to have same-sex marriage. So that’s three countries within the past three months that will allow same-sex marriage in their countires.

My question is, why hasn’t the United States jumped on board yet?

I know the Supreme Court is debating DOMA and Prop. 8 in its chambers these days, but even if the ruling is in favor of gay rights and same sex marriage, I’m a little worried aobout the outcome. First off, there are some justices on the Supreme Court who have called same-sex marriage “an experiment” that is “newer than cell phones” and may vote against gay marriage due to their conservative principles. And even if they don’t vote against it, I doubt the Supreme Court will mandate that same-sex marriage will be allowed nationwide, especially if they don’t want some states to sue the federal government for interfering in the states’ right to decide for themselves what legally constitutes as marriage.

Not to mention that in some areas the LGBT community still face horrible discrimination in the workplace, bullying is common for students who come out of the closet, and in Montana, a hospital forced a man out of his husband’s hospital room and treated him like just touching him could get them AIDS and later said they forced him out for being “loud and belligerent” (even though the patient’s brother was supposedly much worse than the husband). If we really want gay marriage to take hold in this country, first we need some serious attitude changes.

Luckily the gains made in the past four years for the LGBT community have been incredible, so I wouldn’t be surprised if in the next 10-15 years gay marriage became legal nationwide and discrimination against the LGBT community was sought out and abolished. But like I said, it’ll take time and attitude changes. So whatever the outcome of the Supreme Court’s ruling, I hope it brings some positive change in the years to come.

It’s Gotten Off Topic

Not too long ago I wrote a post about how some people, while passionate about their beliefs, get too passionate and end up being divisive and rude to others whose beliefs may not match theirs. Since that post, I’ve gotten several commetns from people explaining why they feel circumcision for males is mutilation, due to the fact that I listed a recent experience of mine in the post involving an online controversy about female circumcision vs. all forms of circumcision.

Look, I’m happy that people are passionate about their beliefs, and I respect all veiwpoints, provided they are not racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-Semitic or anything of that nature. However, I wrote that post to draw attention to people who take an attitude that says “It’s my way or the highway, and if you disagree, then I’ll outshout you until nobody can hear you”. It’s rude, it’s upsetting, and in the end it’s more likely to get people against you than with you. That was the point of that post, not to debate about male circumcision.

I’m also appreciative of all the comments I’m getting, I like to hear from people reading my blog, but I’d be happier if people would please refer to the real issue of that post, which is certain attitudes do more to hurt than help your cause and by adopting athe right attitude, perhaps you can at least have a meaningful discussion, if not exact positive change and compromise. The fact that so many people saw only the part about male circumcision worries me and I’d like to remind them about the issue stated in that post, not the examples I gave.

Thanks for reading, and please send hate mail/hate comments to Westboro Baptist Church in Westboro, Kansas. They’ll be much more lively in a debate than I’ll ever be.

Being Loud Does Not Give You The Right To Be Rude

As you all know, I’m a huge fan of Anne Rice, so when I got my Facebook back in December, I immediately subscribed to her page. As I quickly learned, Ms. Rice likes to use her page to talk about issues important to her, especially LGBT and women’s rights. Earlier this week though, something happened on the page that caused quite the cyber-ruckus: Ms. Rice posted about how female genital mutilation–sometimes euphemistically called “circumcision for girls”–is still practiced openly in many nations and secretly in some such as the US and Great Britain. The reason behind this practice, which causes women to have very painful sexual intercourse and in some cases can cause medical complications and infections? Not consecrating them to any sort of higher being or health reasons like male circumcision, but in order to ensure chastity and virginity. In other words, the sexist belief that women have uncontrollable sexual urges and unless men do something about it, they will have sex left, right, and center.

You wouldn’t believe the meshuggas that happened on her FB page.

When Ms. Rice posts about an issue on her Facebook, she usually does it to bring attention to the issue and cause discussion, hopefully to enact positive change. The unexpected effect though, was that several people on the page began railing against male circumcision and making it impossible to have any rational discussion unless all visitors to the page include male circumcision to their disgust to female circumcision. Some of these people went a step further, insulting anyone who tried to stick to the topic at hand or tried to defend male circumcision for religious and/or health reasons. My own parents, rabbis with many years of experience, were insulted and called nasty words after I tried to defend my religious beliefs against them.

The next day Ms. Rice said that the issue should’ve stuck to female genital mutilation, that she had no idea how the topic got so out of hand, and that those who had been especially insulting would be banned from her page forevermore (apparently she has the power to do that). Many of us, including myself, gave the woman a huge “THANK YOU!” and then started a rational discussion on female genital mutilation.

Now, this was an isolated incident, but it got me thinking on past incidents where people were loud and then incredibly rude. Foremost in my mind was when President Obama came to campus in October, and pro-life advocates showed up to protest with signs that were clearly Photoshopped. Whenever those there for the event tried to be reasonable with them, they jsut seemed to get louder, interrupting every sentence, and getting up in their faces.

And there are other incidents in mind, ones I’ve attended and others I’m happy to have been far away from. There are people on both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian debate who will say the worst things about whatever side isn’t their own. Gun advocates will often scream at the government trying to take away their Second Amendment rights. And just so I don’t sound like the liberal I probably am and turn off more conservative readers, there are advocates of environmentalism who are so aggressive with their beliefs that it can get out of hand and they will scare people with it. All of these things have a common thread: loud people being incredibly uncaring and callous in their treatment of those who don’t think like them.

Unfortunately, these sort of debates can bring out the worst in people. It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth.

Now, I don’t see anything wrong with being passionate in your beliefs. There’s nothing wrong with that. However I draw the line when those who are loud start to swear and call people who believe differently than them horrible names and blame them for the ills of society. That’s not the way to get people on your side, especially if people who are undecided one way or another on an issue. In fact, if I had to summarize what’s the way to get people on your side of the debate, it’s not to be virulent, angry and inflammatory. No, it’s to be calm, respectful, and only armed with facts. I believe that’s the way famous saints and leaders have won the masses to them and made great impressions on history.

And the people who are loud, rude and imflammatory…well, I hesistate to say anything about them, lest I get called nasty names by these exact same people for the examples I might bring up of people who were like them. But you see the effect these sort of people have on others. They thrive on anger and use fear as their weapon, hoping that fear will make those opposed to them at least quiet down for fear of their wrath (we sometimes see this with lobbyists and Congress, unfortunately).

The lesson here is not to let your anger get the best of you, but let it drive you to enact better change, no matter what your beliefs on any issue may be. That’s the only way to make change, and to try doing the opposite will only cause you and your cause problems that may not be overcome. And no cause wants that, right?

We Should Be Better Than This

To many, rape is just this: a hand reaching out of inescapable waters, but with no one to grasp it.

Over the past two days, I’ve read about four or five stories online about the Steubensville rape trial (for those of you unfamiliar, two teens from a small town in my state sexually assaulted a 16-year-old girl while she was intoxicated and unconscious, urinated on her, and then posted the damning proof of it on Facebook). The two teens who committed the act were found guilty yesterday and sentenced to juvenile detention centers till they were 21. What upset me though, and what has upset many people as well, was not only that the poor girl was sexually assaulted, but the defense attorneys for the case tried to twist the concept of consent out of order by saying that since the girl was intoxicated, she never really said “no”; that there may have been a cover-up by the local high school, whose football team these boys belonged to and which is a source of pride among the local community; that those who witnessed the crime and were responsible for the photos on Facebook were not charged (though that might change pretty quickly, according to the Ohio AG); and that some of the coverage of the trial, which has gained nationwide attention through the Facebook posts, were actually in favor of the two boys charged.

The two rapists in question. They have no one to blame but themselves.

Yes, in favor. ABC News first reported the case not too long ago by saying the boys “took liberty” with the girl, which is definitely a new one if ever I’ve heard one. And yesterday, CNN seemed only able to lament the fact that these boys had promising futures stolen from them, that they could’ve made names for themselves at Ohio State and then in the NFL, that now they have to register as sex offenders, possibly for the rest of their lives. Underneath the spoken words, the silent implication: that the “good boys” weren’t to blame, but the victim for getting drunk and presenting an all-too-appealing oppurtunity for these boys to have a little bit of fun.

The same day, a story broke out about another gang-rape in India, where a camping couple from Switzerland were attacked, beaten, the wife raped, and then robbed. Arrests were made hours afterward (a record for India), but some public officials have blamed the couple for camping in that area. More victim blaming? I guess after the initial outrage of the bus gang-rape, some people still don’t know when to shut their yaps.

As an ardent supporter of women’s rights and of human rights, I’m abhorred, appalled, and disgusted. This victim blaming turns every woman out there who is the object of unwanted sexual advances into sex toys and shames them into being quiet, tells them they should accept what they get or they will be the ones at fault, that they will be scrutinized for their clothes and behavior and will be called sluts forevermore. Meanwhile, men can wear whatever and drink whatever and screw around as much as they want, and they’ll rarely be called a “man-whore”. This double standard mystifies me as much as it makes me ashamed to be a man. Yes, ashamed! I’m ashamed that my sex gets away with so much while the other half of the species is put down and turned into objects so much.

It also makes me think of a novel I plan to write in the future. I first came up with it by thinking to myself, “What’s the worst event that could happen to a singular person and then use whatever happens to them in the story to help them at least begin to heal?” Being so influenced by Law & Order: SVU (for better or for worse), my mind went right to rape. Only the victim can feel that terror and trauma that comes from rape, they often suffer in silence, and when they do come out, they are often at the recieving end of brutal victim-blaming and stigmas and questions about what they experienced that are never about clarifying the events as they happened. It fit what I was looking for to a tee.

At first though, I considered changing what that tragedy would be for this character. I mean, even I have my limits for what I’ll write, and that’s a lot for a horror writer. But I decided to stick with rape, though at the time I wasn’t sure why. But when I see articles in the news about victims of rape being blamed for what happened to them, even just subliminally, I’m reminded of why I kept rape as that character’s tragedy. Just like Reborn City has themes of the evils and lies of Islamaphobia, this novel of mine and this character can be a way to encourage women to come out about their attacks, to show men that rape, under any circumstances, is rape and their own fault, and perhaps a wake-up call for many readers that rape is a problem and our attitude towards it needs a major change.

I’m not sure if I’ll write an actual rape scene when I do end up writing this novel, but I do know that when I do write this novel, I’ll be channeling my rage, my disdain and my disgust for rape and rapists into it. Perhaps some will feel this underlying rage and learn something from it, like rape is never the victim’s fault. Or that the rapist is the only one to blame. Or there are no circumstances where rape is okay.

Savannah Dietrich was raped last year, but spoke out on Twitter and named her rapists when she felt the plea deal they got wasn’t enough. Sadly, she was nearly charged with contempt of court for naming her rapists.

And perhaps then, the world will change for the better. Because you know what? I shouldn’t have to be writing about this! I shouldn’t have to be telling people on my blog that I find rape and the double standards surrounding it disgusting, or that I plan to channel my rage over this insanity into a novel! I shouldn’t have to check my email and then see that another girl was raped, or that someone in an important position insinuated that the victim had no one to blame but herself. I shouldn’t have to, and neither should anyone!

But we live in the sort of world where all this happens on an all-too regular basis. And you know what? I’m not going to stop raging about it until it does stop, until change does happen, until that novel’s heroine is able to break free of her chains and start the move towards healing. Because I know the world should not be in this state, and I see a moral and an ethical duty to try and make it better. If what I write here does end up helping someone, then that’s great. In the meantime though, I have a lot of work to do, and I’m getting started right now.

For the victims who are blamed. For those who live in fear. And for those I can help before it’s too late, and this dark culture gets them into the wrong mindset.

What about you?

Buckeyethon 2013

I got back to my dorm not too long ago. I turn on the TV so that I can be ready for Saturday Night Live when it comes on, and I see the news program announce that at Ohio State University, the annual Buckeyethon just ended. I can’t help but think, I was just there. I helped make all that possible.

Buckeyethon is an annual event at Ohio State. Students work to raise money for pediatric cancer research. Those who earn enough money attend one of two shifts, each lasting twelve hours and featuring, among a ton of very fun things, a 12-hour dance marathon, concerts, school dance crews, games, and more! At the end of the second shift, all of Buckeyethon assembled in the Union–some 2,000+ students–to hear that this year, we raised $608,623.29. We went wild hearing that.

I enjoyed every minute of my being apart of Buckeyethon, from the raising money, to the dancing, to the getting colored in green paint and clothes and partying for the green team, to meeting some of the kids whom Buckeyethon benefited, to…oh you get the idea! It was awesome, and I had a ton of fun. And I made a difference, too. Imagine how many kids that money I helped to raise will help! Perhaps next year we’ll make a million and cure cancer too.

That’s the hope. Here’s a photo of me:

Those suspenders are going to the next bat/bat mitzvah I attend.

The Gun Control Debate Is Heating Up

I wanted to hold off a little on writing this post, but now I find I can’t hold back anymore.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama announced a number of ideas he wants to implement in order to stop the wave of gun violence our country has been plagued with this past year, and that has been building up for years. Among the ideas he put forth, created in part by Vice Presdient Joe Biden , are required criminal background checks for all gun sales; reinstating the assault weapons ban; banning armor-piercing rounds; providing mental-health services in schools; and establishing a federal gun-trafficking statute, among others.

Unfortunately, getting any of these proposals through our famously dysfunctional Congress is going to be tough, which is why President Obama ordered 23 executive actions, including requiring federal agencies to hand over relevant information for background checks; providing better training for law enforcement and first responders; and requiring the CDC to research the causes and prevention of gun violence, among others.

Of course, there are those who immediately cry foul over these new proposals, the NRA being the loudest (I’ve got a nickname for these guys that uses the same acronym, but I’m not going to say it so as not to offend any readers who are possibly NRA members). The NRA’s president, Wayne LaPierre, has accused Obama of attacking guns and forgetting children, and the organization’s advertising division (or propaganda machine, depending on which angle you look at it from) has released an ad saying that the President doesn’t want to protect kids other than his own by giving Sasha and Malia Secret Service protection in schools. Has it ever occurred to these guys that other people’s kids are not always at risk for being used in terrorist plots? Obviously not.

There’s also the guy from Texas I talked about in an earlier post, the guy who wants to impeach Obama if he makes any moves on guns (good luck with that). And Governor Rick Perry of Texas says that instead of gun control measures, we should “pray for protection”. Um, I think praying and spirituality is nice and all, but I’m pretty sure the gun control proposals might be God’s answer. You want to wipe your butt with it? And honestly, prayers are not going to shield you from a mentally unstable shooter’s bullets if, God forbid, he should point his gun at you.

There’s a rocky road ahead, whatever the case, for these gun control proposals of President Obama. However I think they should be passed. Otherwise Republicans in the House and in the Senate might lose many of their seats as the people become more pro-gun control. Well, let’s see what happens, and hope for a better future, whatever the outcome happens to be.

New York Takes The Lead on Gun Control

The shooting at Sandy Hook that took 20 children and six adults was a tragedy that should never have happened. But thankfully, it seems that something good may be coming out of the tragedy: today, New York leaders passed the first new gun control laws since the tragedy in early December. The bill was signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo, a Republican who has embraced gun control and made it a central part of his agenda, saying “At what point do we say, ‘No more loss of innocent life’?”

Frankly I agree, so I’m glad that the new law comes with so many provisions meant to protect our citizens (not take away guns as 2nd Amendment fundamentalists believe). In addition to an assault weapons ban that prohibits the further sales of any guns with one military feature and the registration of those already in private ownership, the law requires immediate background checks, bars assault weapon sales over the Internet, and, because of the shooting of firefighters in Webster last month, lengthens the sentence of those convicted of shooting first responders.

Plus, the number of rounds in a magazine has been decreased from 10 to 7, put tougher restrictions on the sales of ammunitions and guns and, in what I see as a very good move, requires therapists to notify authorities if they feel a patient made a credible threat to use a gun illegally would be required by law to report it to the authorities.

That last part I see as the basis for a new episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

As other states are considering bills with new gun control measures, I hope they follow New York in example. I’m talking to you, Ohio Governor Jon Kasich. Seriously, you signed a bill that allows firearms in the garage of the statehouse. Do you want to play a video game or reenact a movie scene in the statehouse garage with actual guns? Are you insane?

However, not everyone seems to be thrilled with the new spirit of gun control. Representative Steve Stockman, a Republican from Texas whose last term of office was in the 1990s, says that he’s willing to go as far as filing articles of impeachment if President Obama threatens his Second Amendment rights with new gun control legislation. Hate to break it to you, Mr. Representative, but the last time you were in term, there was an assault weapons ban, and the world did not end and the 2nd Amendment did not die during the ten years it existed. If anything, it came out stronger after the law expired.

Oh well. Here’s to a safer country and less lunatics running around trying to kill us or arm us all.

Thanks to my Buckeyethon Supporters

At Ohio State, we have an annual charity drive called Buckeyethon. Those who volunteer collect money for research at Nationwide Children’s Hospital here in Columbus and after collecting $100, get to participate in a 12-hour dance marathon. My family can attest, I love to dance, and I also love supporting charities when I can. Today I collected my last donation for Buckeyethon, and I wanted to thank the people who made that possible in a uniquely Rami Ungar way. So thank you to all my sponsors:

Wendy Ungar and Wendy Mohr, also known as Ima and Wendy. You guys are wonderful teachers and you’ve raised me well. Plenty of blessings upon you and the cats.

Rabbi Michael Ungar, also known as Abba. You took time out of your busy schedule to donate online when I couldn’t figure out how to use the online portal. Plenty of Shabbos naps for you, which I know you’ll appreciate.

And Sudip Roy and Ankit Gupta, the two who taught me how to do Sahaja meditation. Jai Shri Mataji, and I thank you so much for all your support and teaching.

Thanks to these four, I managed to get well over my needed amount. I can’t wait to turn in the donations tomorrow. So thanks everyone, and now I can’t wait for Buckeyethon’s dance marathon! I know you’ll be partying with me in spirit.